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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  October 10, 2011 11:00pm-11:30pm PDT

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captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. we got a show for you tonight. we got the author michael lewis who's going to be on the program. he's going to be here to talk about his new book called "boomerang" so that's what we're going to be doing and... oh, wow! (laughter) (cheers and applause) it's not like we worked on that for three hours. (laughter) like "prayer for owen meanny." come on, we've got to work on this, i don't know why. really? all right. governor chris christie, republican of new jersey in trenton, new jersey, today at 1:00 p.m. eastern (bleep) hole time making a stunning
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announcement. >> . >> what i've always felt was the right decision remains the right decision today. now is not my time. the answer was never anything but no. >> jon: oh, my god, chris christie 2012! chris... wait. what? (laughter) no? oh. well, having said he wasn't going to run in private, having said it on the television, having said it to print reporters, having tagged it on what can only be described as a condemned trenton building... (laughter). having demonstrated his position while attending a devils game. (laughter) who pays for preseason games? it's over. finally christie could proceed with the press conference dedicated to more pressing issues. >> what i said was i'd reconsider my no and i did. but the no never changed. i can't emphasize this enough. if you're looking for something else, it's not there. it's a no. no. because i said no. i don't want to leave this job. i've spoken to a lot of people this morning and told them the answer is no.
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that's not even a relevant question anymore because i've made the decision not to run. i know it's your guys job to ask me this question a dozen different ways and i'll answer it almost a dozen different ways. in the end, the answer remains the same as it always has been. >> jon: governor christie, over here, one question over here. i'm from the "trenton wasn't listening times" and the secaucus "can't get it through my (bleep)ing head" monthly. what do you say to those who say you should run for president in 2012? (laughter) we're only piecing together that after christie stated he would not run. the reporters continued to repeatedly ask him if he might run because we couldn't actually hear their questions. we could only gauge the ridiculousness of their questions by christie's answers. let's try another answer. >> it's not a news flash to me that i'm overweight. (laughter) >> jon: i guess the question there was "is it a news flash to
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you that you're overweight?" (laughter) actually that, question was about whether governor christie appreciates the multitude of weight-base hued mortar on television programs. >> for me their job is to be funny and if one of the things they want to make fun of is my weight it's fair game. i'm a public figure. they can make fun of it. all i care about is that they actually are funny. so that i can at least laugh about it while they're mocking me, you know? some of the stuff i didn't see initially and my son would go "dad, did you see this one?" so he'd been grounded. (laughter) >> jon: boom! now that's a jersey guy. i got to say, i like this guy, he's a straight talker, doesn't speak in talking points. he's authentic. he should run for president. (laughter) that's why i'm glad he left the door open just a little bit. so as republicans absorb the disappointment that christie is really, truly, unequivocally probably not running and
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republicans continue checking underneath every available flag pin and bible for viable candidates, presume defacto front-runner candidate mitt romney's got to be thinking what the fudge? (laughter) this is starting to hurt where my feelings should be. (laughter) i mean, romney has been running for president... (cheers and applause) ... since 2007! romney's the former governor of the state where the actual tea party happened. he's the son of a popular midwestern governor. he's rich. he looks like a guy you'd cast as the president in a movie. and not a movie where the president is corrupt or an asteroid is about to hit the earth but more of a light hearted president dad type movie. (laughter) where he commands an army but can't connect with his kids. i mean, the only obstacle to mitt romney winning next year's republican nomination is that up until very, very recently they was antithesis of everything republicans sand for. >> look, i was an independent during the time of reagan/bush.
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i'm not trying to return to reagan/bush. i do not take the position of a pro-life candidate. i'm in favor of preserving and protecting a woman's right to choose. >> jon: to be fair to romney, at that time he did believe very deeply in his heart that he wanted to be elected governor of massachusetts. (laughter) but now it's 2011. he's not an irresponsible kid in his mid-50s anymore. he's matured and learned an important lesson about wanting to be elected president. yes, mitt romney has a little bit of a problem, and that's the win to republican nomination he has to convince republican voters he's not actually mitt romney. >> my view is that the supreme court should reverse "roe v. wade." >> would you have supported a constitutional amendment that would have established the definition of life at conception? >> absolutely. i am pro-life. >.>> jon: i'm if pro life as in "hey, i lied before. that's life." (laughter) how hard will his past be? here's romney's 2003 state of the state address of governor of massachusetts in which he
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promised "we'll plug corporate tax loon holes to companies will pay their fair share." unfortunately, we don't have that quote on video. but we found a nearly identical sentiment. >> let's close those loopholes, let's eliminate those tax breaks and let's make sure that everybody's paying their fair share. (audience reacts) i can't believe mitt romney's a socialist muslim kenyan! (laughter) >> in minute, a loophole is when someone takes advantage of a tax law in a way that wasn't intended by the legislation. but ther there are a lot of peoe who use the word loophole to say "let's just raise taxes on people" and that i will not do. i will not raise taxes. >> jon: holy bloop, i think he found a loophole to get around the word loophole. and not only does romney have to disavow his position, as former
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governor and veteran of two other unsuccessful political campaigns for senate and president also has to disavow his chosen vocation. >> i was wondering what you would tell my class that would make us want to be politicians. >> she would ask me what i would tell her classmates to encourage them to become a politician. and the answer is nothing. don't do it. run. run as far as you can. >> jon: run as far as you can. you see, i'm no good, kid. (laughter) i'm a bad man. you don't want to be like me. (laughter) politics is dirty. actually, romney's just telling those kids not to go into politics because he knows if they did they would be the new republican front-runners. (laughter) see, romney's not a moderate, romney's not a moderate pro-choice wealth redistributing corporate loophole closing career politician. he's a tea party pro-life outsider. and there's one other thing this
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quarter of a billionaire wants you to know before you vote for him. >> we ought to provide hope the the people who have been hurt most by the obama economy and that's the middle-class. it's for the great middle-class. the 80% to 90% of us in this country. (audience reacts) >> jon: who you calling "us"? i'm not even going to... the transformation is complete. where in the world, mitt romney, are you middle-class? you're not middle-class at a reunion of your harvard business school colleagues. you wouldn't be middle-class at an opec meeting. (laughter) but i guess it's nice to know even if republican voters know who the real mitt romney is, mitt romney doesn't. (laughter) we'll be right back.
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it reduces wind resistance, in an irrestible sort of way. the ford focus with up to 40 miles per gallon highway. (cheers and applause). >> jon: welcome back to the show! now, if you've been following the news, you know that former sitcom star turned macadamia farmer roseanne barr made headlines when she jokingly called for the beheading of anyone making over $100 million a year who wasn't giving some back. she was kidding! but it didn't sit well with a certain morning show. >> my question is why do we care what roseanne barr says?
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i mean, i don't really... why do we give so much attention to these celebrities and what they say? >> jon: hear, hear! i am sick to death of these celebrities telling us what to think about politics. let me just fast forward to fox and friends morning show exactly 1:15. go. >> joining us right now to break down the 2012 g.o.p. field is country singer superstar hank williams, jr.! (audience reacts) (applause) >> jon: i can't believe it. that show just set a new world record, 74 minutes. they've never gone that long before. wait, but the hank is here... >> you remember the golf game they had, ladies and gentlemen? >> yeah. >> you remember the golf game? >> you mean when john boehner played golf with president obama? >> oh, yeah! yeah. and biden and kasich, yeah.
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uh-huh. >> jon: what did you not like about it? it seemed to be a pivotal moment for you. >> come on. come on. that would be like hitler playing golf with netanyahu. okay? (audience reacts) >> jon: i'm not even sure i understand what the hell he just said but all right, so he mangled his metaphors and he's pretty out there. so what? he's like roseanne. just out there. they both mangle it had star spangled banner, they both drunkenly married tom arnold. (laughter) i guess we'll just chalk it up as another case of fox and friends saying one thing and doing another, no harm, no foul. >> espn, the network that carries the game, pulled the hank williams, jr., song following his controversial comment. >> what? they pulled the song? we count on him to gauge our nation's football readiness! (laughter) if anything, just give him a little slap on the wrist. make him also head to espn 4 and sing are you ready for actual
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football. hands aren't aloud ♪ and the pitch is just right, ♪ arsenal is playing manchester united tonight ♪ are you ready for a game that will probably end in a tie... ♪ by the way, espn, you're shocked at bocephus' comments. he's been at espn for 20 years vsm you met him? frankly, i'm surprised he didn't punctuate his obama/hitler metaphor with "i mean (bleep)." this is bocephus, man00 he's got a song about how things would be better if the south had won. the guy fell 442 feet off a mountain, cracked open his skull he had to hold in his own brain and survived. when he talks i can smell the jack daniels on his breath from the television. (laughter) so don't act all ooh, my goodness, when he says something down home and gritty. that's what he's there for. but, of course, espn is now acutely aware of the societal
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impact of all its presenters. may i offer, espn, a "monday night football" alternative who recently discovered in the back room of the hummus kettle on mcdougal. please welcome amy and amy p. ♪ are you ready for some football ♪ are you ready for some football ♪ valiant boys on the fields of green ♪ gentle giants don't be mean ♪ are you ready for some football ♪ if not, we can find a more agreeable time ♪ (laughter and applause) >> jon: we'll be right
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(cheers and applause). >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, best-selling author, his new book is called "boomerang: travels in the new third world." please welcome back to the program michael lewis. (cheers and applause) how are you? >> i'm good. i'm good. thanks for having me back. people don't always. >> jon: they should. the book is "boomerang." my first question obviously who will play ben bernanke in the movie version of this? because you know you have yet to have one of these that isn't going to go to a movie. "moneyball," congratulations, all those good things.
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very nice. very nice. >> have you seen it? >> jon: have i seen "moneyball?" >> yes. >> jon: yes. listen, i love baseball movies "the natural" "bang the drum slowly." you can do any baseball movie now see one as smart as that one and well done as that one... >> i thought it was going to suck. (laughter) when they told me they were making it i thought they were insane. i thought i was going to have to go hide. (laughter). >> jon: is that how you pitched in the the room? (laughter) >> the genius of bennett miller, the director, and brad pitt's performance is unbelievable. it's unbelievable. they took a book that shouldn't have been a movie and they made it into a great movie. now i've got this problem. i backed away from it and hid from it for seven years. >> jon: no one checks up on that (bleep). just say "i always knew that'd be great." (laughter) michael, i remember you telling me in 2009 how you thought that the adaptation of that would make an oscar-winning film.
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(laughter) there's your clip. that's it. you're done. now this, on the other hand. if i may, the premise of this book... you take us through iceland, greece, ireland, germany and the united states and each one devoted to telling us why that area is-- again you use the colloquial term-- (bleep). (laughter) >> it's financial disaster tourism. >> jon: right. >> it's touring bankrupt countries. and the thing that was so interesting to me that led me to do this thing is you think of the financial crisis and you think of it as one thing. like the same thing happened everywhere. and the same cause happened everywhere. it was a pile of money was left in a dark room and the people were allowed to do whatever they wanted with it. today... everybody faces the same temptation. the banks were willing to lend to anybody. but what they wanted to do was so different from place to place
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and the money for me became a prism through which to view the society. it was like a when doe into the society. they expressed kind of deep cultural traits through how they behaved. so i wandered the world and described it. and the stuff that happened dps i may go on a bit? >> jon: please. >> so the things that happened in europe were so interesting because each one of the... each was peculiar but each says something about what happened here. in the end the book was always going to come back to the united states. >> jon: what's interesting is, you know, you see... you're talking about greece. greece was a situation where the state really destroyed the banks and iceland is sort of the opposite. the banks destroyed the states. the bankers. and ireland just seemed like a situation where they expected it and they're just now... now they're just going "yeah, i knew this would happen." (laughter) and they're sucking it up. >> the irish have a talent for suffering. (laughter) they were waiting for this. i mean, anybody who's been in a room full of irish people, the status goes to the pern who's
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had the worst thing happen to them most recently. (laughter) and so they've been waiting for this moment to compete with each other for how bad they have it. and... but the stories are incredible. iceland is a nation of 300,000 people. the size of peoria. they took their three little banks and turned them into three global banks that had all together $140 billion worth of assets. iceland... the way it made its y up until seven years ago was fishing. that's what you could do in iceland to make money. people were literally washing off of fishing boats and becoming currency traders in days. a matter of days. and they told themselves that they were good at this. their president was wandering the world saying icelanders were naturally suited to become hedge fund people and they had this natural gift that somehow hadn't expressed itself for a thousand years but all of a sudden... >> jon: and they were killing it for those first couple years.
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>> for five years they were great. then they lost $100 billion. (audience reacts). >> jon: it happens! >> it happens, yes. >> jon: . >> and it was the men. it was just the men. the men fished and the men moved off the fishing boats into the banks. and the women... you could see what happened. the men said to their wives "i mow what i'm doing. i know what i'm doing here." (laughter) "i knew what i was doing there, you never asked me about the fish, don't ask me about the money." and they went and did this stuff and the women went "all right. looks like it's going all right." then all of a sudden we're lost. we're lost. how come you didn't ask for directions? and what's happened since, it created... the men have been thrown out of the banks. women have gone in to run the banks. they got rid of the government. they have the first lesbian head of state making... making some kind of point there. the women have said "you don't know what you're doing." (laughter) and you can see there's this nation... they all knew each other. they've had this... this realization of how dangerous men are with money.
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(laughter). (cheers and applause). >> jon: that's a great way to put it. because it was... it almost struck me... when you read those stories of a lost tribe in the amazon that is discovered and, you know, the white man comes in and he's going to tell them how things go and he inadvertently sneezes and everybody dies. (laughter) they were not ready for the contagion and the con the age job destroyed them like that. >> jon: they weren't prepared for this idea that you could make money out of money without any effort. if you fished and someone offered you the chance to be an investment banker, you'd take it. fishing is hard. investment banking is not. (laughter) and the thing is, you know who they were imitating? us. they got this idea from us. you're welcome. >> jon: do you have time to stick around? >> yeah. >> jon: so we're going to go to commercial. "boomerang" is on the bookshelves now." we'll throw it up on the web, i have more countries i want to run through you w you real quick before you go. michael lewis. (cheers and
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(cheers and applause). >> jon: that's our show. tune in tomorrow night at 11:00. hugh jack man will be in the studio tomorrow night and once again michael lewis the book is "boomerang." (laughter) i guess it only works once. here it is, your moment of zen. >> i'm heading out you guys because... here's the camera. where i am. oh, look at you, secret service. all right, everybody knows shatner rules, right? so he is here. william shatner out on military island and truly... not coming? all right, we know... how do you captioning sponsored


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